How the Grinch Stole Christmas has been a holiday staple in my family for as long as I can remember. I fell in love with the timeless cartoon, then fell even deeper when the live action released. Just last week my husband and I flipped on The Grinch to distract Lottie from a particularly nasty case of diaper rash, and she gleefully meowed every time Jim Carey entered a shot. And I should probably mention that when my husband proposed to me, “Fahoo Fores, Dahoo Dores” played over the loudspeaker.
While I can’t condone hitching a sleigh to your poor, unloved lapdog and launching a Christmas Eve heist, when it comes to holiday gifting, the Grinch can teach us a whole awful lot. (Is that a phrase from the book? I feel like that’s a phrase from the book.)
The Guilt Factor in Holiday Gifting
Does this sound familiar? A January 2018 Market Watch article found that, on average, US shoppers ended the 2017 Christmas season with approximately $1054 in new debt. In 2011, a TODAY survey found that 75% of mothers feel guilty not satisfying a child’s wish-list. SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT.
Somewhere along the way, the holidays became synonymous with obligation. A need to show appreciation and love. A duty not to disappoint. And what has become the societal vehicle for spreading said cheer? Presents.
As a child, I used to live for the day when the Sears Wish Book would appear in our mailbox. I would spend hours pouring over the pages, marker in hand, starring a good 50 to 100 items. I can’t even imagine what my parents must have thought when I would hand them my pristine wish list on a piece of college ruled paper, lines filled front and back. But I know what I would feel now in their shoes, silently calculating the balance in my bank account as I smile and promise to send the list to Santa.
Look, there are more than enough things stressing us out around the holidays. Christmas gifts were never meant to be one. So let’s re-evaluate our holiday gifting this year and kick guilt giving to the curb.
A Truly Happy Holiday
I don’t know about you, but the earliest story of holiday gifting I ever heard was the Christmas story itself. I can remember sitting in a wooden church pew, listening every year as our Pastor read the story of Christ’s birth, and knowing the gifts by heart: Gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Had you ever heard of anything so lavish? I’ll be honest, I had no clue what two of those three items actually were, but I was pretty certain this was the make of the ultimate Christmas present.
Even so, my favorite Christmas song took on an entirely different spirit. It told the story of a little boy who wanted desperately to honor Jesus but had nothing to give, so he shared the only gift he could–his music.
The holiday season has never been about spending, but giving. I know you’re all rolling your eyes right now. Don’t worry, I am, too. Because that’s the cheesy answer, right? That’s the answer you’re supposed to give while sitting around a ham dinner. We know the truth. People expect presents.
But is that really true? Mamas, I have been the person who overdraws her bank account in the spirit of Christmas. In fact, I can’t remember the last time that I wasn’t that person. Because I wanted to give the best gift. I wanted to see the biggest smile. I wanted my family to know I cared enough to find them the perfect present.
Funny thing is, much as I love seeing presents under the tree, and as much as I have always looked forward to opening them, my favorite part of Christmas has never had anything to do with wrapping paper. No, my favorite part, the moment I wait for all year with anticipation, is standing in a quiet church, holding a simple candle, and singing “Silent Night” in perfect unison surrounded by family.
And that’s not the cheesy, grownup answer. That’s the honest truth.
But Seriously, Though… Presents.
Look, I’m not going to lie to you. Holiday gifting is fun. The office Secret Santa, the packages spilling out from under the tree, the satisfaction of having found the perfect present. It’s exciting to exchange gifts, and I love to do it. But I don’t think my friends want me going broke trying to meet expectations any more than I want them to.
I am not writing today to tell you not to give presents or to do away with Santa. I fully intend to give presents to my daughter. But when the guilt starts creeping in, and you begin to think you aren’t giving enough–that your gifts aren’t good enough and the stockings not full enough–I urge you to remember the little drummer boy. To give spirit, not price tags. To think of the Grinch and the Whos.
Because even if Dr. Seuss hadn’t given us a happy ending, even if the presents had all fallen from Mount Crumpit, the Grinch would still have won Christmas. He won it the moment he recognized the Whos were being ridiculous with all that noise, noise, noise. He won it long before Cindy Lou Who ever started to sing.
That’s how the Grinch won Christmas. He took away all the presents, and the Whos remembered what giving really means.
My husband and I were just having a similar conversation yesterday. I was telling him how many toys, trash, and downright junk I cleaned out from under and behind our older two daughters’ bunk bed. It was ridiculous! I was telling him to let him know that they really don’t need for us to buy them more toys, books, arts, and crafts.
While it doesn’t totally resolve the issue of not spending money, I was telling him that I’d rather give them experiences. Of course, some of these experiences could be free or low-cost, while others cost (like Nutcracker tickets or tickets to see Fancy Nancy live show).
Yes! I’ve been seeing a lot of blog posts this year about gifting experiences instead of presents. I think it’s a really neat idea! Side note, there is a Fancy Nancy show?!?
I absolutely love this post! I am not participating in any secret Santa office stuff this year and also did not participate in the white elephant gifting despite feeling pressure to do so. With 4 kids and other family members to think about, we are attempting to shift our focus to experiences together rather than things. It is difficult to not feel guilty about choosing not to participate in a lot of the extra “spirit of Christmas” gift giving, but I feel much happier learning to say, “No” and only participating in the gift giving I actually want to.
Exactly, Sherry! Saying “no” is so hard during the holidays. Am so glad you are finding happiness in focusing on family this Christmas! Thanks for reading!
Love how you tied this into the guilt of giving. Giving too much doesn’t help with teaching kids gratitude and thankfulness. I think that’s something really important that kids need to understand at a young age. You’re right though, it’s not about price tags.
Great post!
Thank you, Monica! Guilt has definitely driven way too much of my gifting. Thank you so much for taking the time to read!
To give spirit, not price tags. You can’t put a price on love and spirit. This is a beautiful reminder on the real reason to give.
Thank you for reading, Natasha! I hope you have a wonderful holiday!
Wonderful post about the true meaning of giving!
Thank you for reading, Shannon!
My favorite part about Christmas is the songs- especially the simple candlelit carol in our church service. As I find myself stressing about all I need to accomplish because we are hosting, I am also trying to balance it out with the thought of my children making more memories with our family. Seeing grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins is the part that I hope to focus on. I loved this post!
I don’t know what it is about that candlelight Silent Night, but it gets me every time. I can’t wait to watch Lottie take everything in this year. It’s going to be so fun with all her firsts!
Okay, this is so great! Now that my son is of the age to get excited for Christmas, I’ve been hyper aware of how his perception of Christmas is like. I want it to be less about the gifts/Santa (of course there will still be gifts) and more about family/Christ’s birth. So, thank you for this! I feel like I could’ve written this myself!
I’m gearing up for this transition myself! I think I’ve got about a year left until it’s really going to kick in for Lottie. I’m sure you will handle it wonderfully!! Thank you for reading 🙂
Oh I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. My husband and I have this conversation every year. Thanksgiving has become our favorite holiday. I’m fine with giving, just not feeling obligated to give. Great reminder for all.
I love Thanksgiving, too!! So much togetherness. Well, and food. I’m a pretty big fin of that, too 😉
Love this such a great perspective and fun way to approach the topic !
Thanks for reading, Laurie! Happy Holidays!
Wow! I absolutely love this post! Thank you for sharing because I do feel the guilt! It’s nice to know I am not alone but also to be reminded that the spirit means more than any gift. It is so important to teach that piece to our kids! Thank you!
Thank you for reading, Lauren! Mom guilt is so nasty, isn’t it?? It’s been weighing on me so much that I actually just released a free ebook on the causes of mom guilt and strategies for crushing it. You can snag a copy at https://www.lottieandme.com/kiss-goodbye-mom-guilt if you’re interested 🙂
This was an awesome read! It is so easy to get caught up in he gifting spirit, but let us not forget what coming together at such a time really means <3.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Amandela! I hope you have a wonderful holiday!