A Novice Mom Defined

Novice Mom

[nov-is mom]

noun, by way of introduction

1. A first-time mother who learns as she goes
2. An individual who bought all the books on childcare prior to baby’s arrival but proceeded to read none
3. A young woman who never babysat a day in her life but decided full-time motherhood sounded good
4. Someone whom the hospital let take home a baby with no requirements other than possession of a car seat and knowledge of the period of purple screaming.
5. A person who considers showering an accomplishment
6. A girl who once slept eight continuous hours on the regular but now must exist off four interrupted hours nightly
7. A failure at meal-planning who exists off cheerios
8. An individual who once wore perfume but now wears spit-up
9. Someone who has to have instructions, always always follows the instructions, but has no time for reading instructions
10. A newbie at the ever-coveted seamless infant pass
11. A total amateur at all things baby
12. A mommy in training
13. Me