Novice Mom
[nov-is mom]
noun, by way of introduction
- A first-time mother who learns as she goes
- An individual who bought all the books on childcare prior to baby’s arrival but proceeded to read none
- A young woman who never babysat a day in her life but decided full-time motherhood sounded good
- Someone whom the hospital let take home a baby with no requirements other than possession of a car seat and knowledge of the period of purple screaming.
- A person who considers showering an accomplishment
- A girl who once slept eight continuous hours on the regular but now must exist off four interrupted hours nightly
- A failure at meal-planning who exists off cheerios
- An individual who once wore perfume but now wears spit-up
- Someone who has to have instructions, always always follows the instructions, but has no time for reading instructions
- A newbie at the ever-coveted seamless infant pass
- A total amateur at all things baby
- A mommy in training
- Me
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